Face your Fear – make love not war

This is a blog about the explicit, not the implicit, love making. Although ‘sexuality and spirituality’ would make a great topic. But I am not sure if I’m ready for that though ;-). After seeing the film Dunkirk by Christan Nolan (who directed Memento and Inception), the madness of war becomes clear again, and I feel the desire to share about it. Especially how love and courage arise from the most unlikely and terrible situations. So it is all about having the courage to face your Fear.

A tare of pride of brave people

In 2009 I visit the genocide museum in Rwanda, where I read that in 1994 the Hutus killed over half a million Tutsis in 100 days. Horrible, but at the next text and photo I really stiffen. Hutus are helping, with the danger of their own life, Tutsis to go into hiding. Sometimes even loosing their lives or the lives of loved ones while doing this. A tear drops down my cheeks. Not a tear of sadness but of pride, hope and admiration. That pure love, hatred and anger can overcome and that such brave people exist.

Experiencing pleasure and happiness through fear

After the movie Dunkirk my father and I dive into the pub and chat a little about it. I ask him if he had to think about his parents during the film. My grandfather worked as a prisoner of war on the Burma railway for years and my grandmother stayed in a Japanese camp until the end of the Second World War. He did not answer immediately.  But then we talk about the great impact of war on people, the generations after and also on our family. In essence, I sincerely believe that every person – regardless of religion, ethnicity or nationality – simply wants to be happy. It is fear, pain and the avoidance that makes us confused and creates conflicts in ourselves and with others.

Live from honesty and love

I know in practice war and all that comes with is a very complex matter. I truelly felt sorry for Obama when he had to make a stand in a poisinus conflict like Syria. The only thing I (we) can do is to go for honesty and love in our own small little worlds. The fact that I am sure I still unconsciously hurt people, can still act from fear or respond with frustration and irritation does not change that. I like what Whoopi Goldberg said at the end of the Dutch TV-program ‘college tour’ on choices:

My drive with Beyond Mindfulness

Full of passion, I tell my father that this is my drive with Beyond Mindfulness Amsterdam. To facilitate people to feel, allow and understand their own fear. This creates space for pleasure and happiness to arise spontaneously. Suppresing negative emotions also means suppresing loving and positive ones. Moreover for people who are in touch with their own suffering and that of another, it is much more difficult to cause each other pain. Let alone carry out war.

It is a choice

How do we actually deal with colleagues at work? What do we do when waiting in the cue at the bakery? Do we stand up for someone older or not? These and many other moments determine how you want to live your life and in this your choice alone. The Dalai Lama often explains that compassion is not something for softies. I love this inspiring video of him on this topic (especially from min. 18.00). The opposite is the case, facing your suffering, allowing happiness and be compassioned to yourself and others requires a lot of courage.

Being the open blue sky

For me it is quite simple. The more I feel and know that I am the open and vast blue sky, and not lose myself in the many thought clouds, the more I go through life openly, spontaneously and compassionately.

If you want to make a start with it, I would recommend one of my favourite meditaions called Metta Bhavana (or love-and-kindnness) meditation. Via youtube or an app like ‘insight timer’ you can start straight away. Hereby already an meditation of Tara Brach. Goodluck and enjoy it!