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It all starts with honesty

Last week I visited friends for a weekend and they were so nice and welcoming. We were taking a scenic walk throw the dunes and somehow an irrational fear of rejection came up. I don’t even know the trigger but I immediately felt disconnected from myself. I have learned to make it ok (mainly by being Mr. Nice guy) but I don’t live for ‘ok’ anymore. I have tasted freedom and authenticity too often to settle for less. The next day I honestly admitted to myself that this fear frequently comes up.

Often it quickly goes away but at other times it really poisons my experience. Being really honest to oneself is a big step and in my case it gave a lot of space to be more authentic and joyful. This blog is about the power of openness and honesty and how to flow with life.


The flow of life

After I admitted the role of fear in my live and I watched an interesting video of Byron Katie (see below), I realised there is no need to change, control or manipulate life. This freed me, at least for this last week. I saw that my story (thinking) doesn’t influence the stream of life; my interference only makes it worse. Life just goes how it supposes to go anyway and I can just be mindfully with it. Completely let go of my coat of identity (convictions about myself, life and others) and lose these thick layers I have been wearing all my life.


Open the mind

Do you recognize this inner-voice that constantly monitors and checks if things are going the way it “suppose” to? Then fear, unrest and/or anger often creeps in. As a responds we try to change our behaviour, the situation and use control and manipulation to do it. At best this can temporary avoided it but often it just makes it worse. Sounds familiar, right? Honesty and acceptance of what-is are so important to counter this. It will make the mind open, mindful and relax and give space to our natural creativity and happiness.


 From human-doing to human-being

I remember Mindfulness founder Jon Kabat Zinn talking in a very interesting radio interview about shifting from human-doings to human-beings. I like that phrase. It reveals our tendency to constantly want to change and do things, instead of being with the change; in the present moment. Or in the words of Eckhart Tolle (see image).

Who am I?

To really align and free ourselves, honesty is not enough. We also need to investigate where our identity eventually houses. Is it in presence, awareness or consciousness (three names for the same thing) or is it in thinking, emotions and our body? The 20th century Indian guru Ramana Maharshi encourages us to inquiry on this with one question: “Who am I?” Or if you prefer “What I am”? I always add …really. I think I borrowed that from meditation teacher Adyashanti. So then it becomes “What am I, really?”


Get some support

Asking it is more important then answering it and then in silence contemplate on it for a few minutes. For some encouragement and support check YouTube for some inspiring videos on teachers I have mentioned. Or send me an email on and I can specifically direct you to something or someone. Or find a teacher which you resonate with.

I hope this blog inspires you to look for happiness inside instead of in the outer world. Honesty is the key to unlock this door. Good luck and don’t forget to enjoy the journey!