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Meditation and surrender

My attachment in my work came up. It took me by surprised that it effected me personally. Especially that I can blindly follow work beliefs, thoughts and feelings that make get me stuck or sometimes even meeting certain people make me insecure. I suddenly remember the wonderful quote from Pema Chodron below. Nothing ever goes until we have learned our lesson. This blog is about this and meditation and surrender.

Walked a Beautiful path

When i think back to all my working years (I am getting old!) it all went relatively easy and cool. Many interesting challenges and beautiful jobs followed each other. From England to Kosovo from Amsterdam to Tanzania and back to Amsterdam. While partying I studied in Swansea and in Kosovo I helped start-ups. I earned my money for my master’s as an Amsterdam city guide, for 3 years I visited all corners of East Africa as a consultant and back in Amsterdam I followed my heart in the people profession (life-coaching and training mindfulness-meditation).

Everything changed

The bankruptcy of my old employer was certain unpleasant but due to continuations threw another owner it wasn’t too bad. But life had the idea I didn’t really learned my lesson. It wanted me really me to grasp to everything changes, that control is an illusion and to teach me to let go of my work attachment. As always she (he?) was right and the lessons came.


I started my own company over a year ago. But a few months ago it wasn’t going that great. After a webinar with almost no participants, a website that I had to replace live after 2 months, mindfulness weekends in Tanzania there were not enough participants and for the first time in my life more money went out than in. I have saved enough and my coaching was going well but still. My work-attachment was shamelessly revealed. I felt disappointed and angry, and I felt “it should not be like that”. I know this is what many entrepreneurs will recognize but still if it happens to you it isn’t nice.

Opportunism is replaced by realism

More and more my opportunism is making space for healthy realism. I notice that I can work a bit more from trust and less from fear. The last month I gave 3 beautiful workshops (with on average + 10 people), the mindfulness training runs smoothly and beautiful individual coaching sessions have started. Even my in-depth 3-weeks course ‘selfcompassion’ I just ended a few weeks ago. In short, my company, Beyond Mindfulness Amsterdam, has made a real start. If you want to see who I am and what my approach is, then you join a free workshops or go for an individual interview. Below a short video (with eng subtitles) about Beyond Mindfulness.

Tears forerunners of compassion

During a beautiful film, my previous unrest and irritation came out. I see myself swallowing some tears. Tears, said Jan Geurtz three years ago at a silence-Doghzen retreat in Sauerland (tip!), are the forerunners of compassion. So i let it be as it is.

In the same film the poet Rumi (check this Instagram link for more poems) is cited with this beautiful poem.

Love is the whole thing.
We are only pieces.
Love is the sea of no end.
We are a drop of it.
He brings forth hundreds of proofs.
We can find our way only through them.

The sky turns only with Love.
Without Love, even the stars
Are eclipsed, extinguished.
With Love, hunched back dal become elif.
Once elif loses Love, it turns into dal.

The word is the Fountain of Life,
Because it originates
From the Love of the knowledge
Of the real truth of things.

Don’t keep Love away from your Soul,
So that your good deeds may bear fruit
And keep growing.

~ Rumi

Meditation, Surrender and love

This gives me a feeling of surrender. To life – love. When I talk about love, I am not talking about the limited and somewhat anxious love on which many friendships and love relationships are based. No, I mean the love that transcends that and simply is felt like peace and happiness. At those moments where everything falls away and you just are. Alone or with others, without plan or agenda. Without this drying up friendships and love relationships at a given moment.

Love is peace in motion

Let me finish with two beautiful sentences that my teacher Rupert Spira sometimes mentions. I can not find the original author, let me know if you know. It seems to be a Dutchman (go Orange!).

Love is peace in motion
Peace is love at rest