Happiness: Share your being
Do you know that brief feeling of restlessness after a special moment, a holiday of an intense group process? I have known it all my life. Now again, two days after a great holiday with my friends. But even more so with my nephews and my sister, who live abroad. I feel their closeness while typing this blog. These feeling or the restlessness or any other feelings actually I learn to let them be. The funny thing is that I allow them more and more. What exactly? Everything! This is a blog about being and showing yourself in everything that comes up and daring to ‘share your being’ with others. I think that’s what happiness is all about.
A typical pleaser
I have always imposed a lot of restrictions on myself. I was (still am at times) a typical pleaser who did his utmost to satisfy the other and retrain itself to do certain things people could reject to. During my coach training, only 5 years ago (it feels much longer), I got the feedback to be unreliable. They simply did not know where I stood and they were right. It was a wake-up call. I increasingly recognized my impulse to please. And I want to shout that it doesn’t have to, but our big friend ‘fear’ can overrule my rationale.
More and more allow myself to be
The good news is that I am much more conscious of what happens. My holiday of the past two weeks is a good example. At times I am bursting with energy, I joke and provoke in a (hopefully) playful and fun way. At other times I feel open and vulnerable and I share that and try to be with it.
Or I tell my friends how I look at life from a non-dual perspective, which is something they are not really familiar with. This sharing of my being feels very freeing. That only gives me enough motivation to keep doing it and transcend my fears. Watch the last few minutes (minute 41.00) of Whoopi Goldberg on the Dutch TV program College tour, about just being you!
Focus on sharing happiness instead of chasing it
Seeing yourself as the blue sky (in short, the witness/awareness of) and not the weather itself (your thought-identity) is key. Objects and relationships will not bring happiness, happiness is in already in you. In essence, you are happiness itself. If you can live from there, then it’s about sharing happiness (your ‘being’) instead of chasing it. Do you see the difference between that and our inclined tendency of striving, grabbing and manipulating? With this you can allow the dynamics of life to bring whatever it wants. Boring? Not at all! Your life gets more playfulness, joy and spontaneous.
We live we learn
If you have read a blog of me before, you know that I often get stuck. I can totally identify with certain old thought patterns, not even realizing that fear has paralyzed me or I can act selfishly (disconnected from others). But as long as I see this more often, experience more inner-peace in the moment, know myself to be this presence and I feed love and honesty instead of fear, then I feel I am on the right track. Let me finish with a beautiful video of Adhyshanti about happiness: